8.29.05 - Things are coming to a close and it is going to be a big change.....
So much has happened since the last entry but it all the activities were done in the shadow of knowing that the trip would soon be over. I guess it was hanging out in Lebanon for so long that it really hit home - that I would be returning to the normalcy of home soon enough. A weekend at a resort in Tyre, some great dinners and nights out reminded me off all the fun that could be have once I had a job again...in the meantime it was a bittersweet money drain! I was honestly sad to leave Beirut and the friends I made there...I learned some important lessons about myself and just hope that those learnings actually stick!!!
From Beirut it was a short flight to Dalamans, Turkey where I was relieved to meet up with MC again...and this time he actually came to the airport since neither of us had any information on Dalaman and it would have been a little difficult trying to track him down in town!!! A nice relief to see him and to know that the next couple weeks would be spent preparing for the inevitable. (sounds all doom and gloom but it is a thought that continuously runs through your head while your making your way towards your final destinations...in this case it was Istanbul where we would say our good-byes. Sure I will see him in London and or course back home...but it won't be the same...after being with someone practically 24/7 over the course of 10 plus months...there is bound to be some separation anxiety!!! But more on that later...)
The next day it was off to Bodrum for some fun in the sun. The purse strings had been loosened in Beirut and the remainder of the trip will be no different....starting with spendy dinners (these tourist areas of Turkey are a severe money drain...when prices are quoted in pounds and euros you get a better idea of what you are dealing with!!!) This is a gorgeous coastal town filled with white buildings and of course spread out along the beautiful Aegean sea. We stayed in a lovely family run pension...run by some of the oldest, non-english speaking couple but they were so sweet and there to greet us at all hours...and in Bodrum it is all about all hours!!! The nightlife is apparently what people flock here for and much time was spent along the water eating, drinking and dancing. We were even lured in to the promise of Halikarnase (sp) - apparently the world's second largest outdoor nightclub. That was quite an experience, one that started no earlier than midnight (yep had to take a nap) and included live entertainment...what else can you expect for a $27 cover charge!!! And the entertainment was thoroughly amusing because it involved two "acts" that would sing, dance...and really lip-synch to a variety of popular techno tunes. Is this normal - I just don't know. We had a good chuckle watching events unfold but we were ready to move on when the club started playing the techno remix of "California Dreamin'" for the 6th time in approx. 3 hours!!!
From Bodrum it was off to Ephesus to see the infamous ruins. We set up camp in the charming town of Selcuk and made our way to the ruins. It was a one time a very large roman city...but now it is a site over-run by tourists. There were some nice parts of the city but had there been a tape recorder around you would be fully convinced that we are the most jaded tourists in all of Turkey! After seeing so many fantastic ruins...this definitely paled in comparison. A ruin snob? Perhaps.... I would definitely recommend a stopover because if you haven't been through Egypt, Jordan, Lebanon and Syria in the months leading up to the visit you could be rather impressed. The photos will reveal more of the story...and we do apologize for not getting more photos up recently. All in due time.
Well then we were off to Istanbul where I had the pleasure of meeting up with my wonderful friend from Tbird and even LA, Omer, who has proven to be the most generous host. We were staying in his family run hotel which is right next to the splendid Aye Sofia and within a few minutes walk to the Blue Mosque, Topkapi museum and of course the Grand Bazaar (many hours were spent there - such a fascinating place and so many "new friends" to be made. I was actually addicted to talking to the shopkeepers...so starved for attention I know!). I had stayed here 3 years ago when I was fortunate enough to attend my friends, Oguzhan and Zeynep's, wedding. So I let MC see many of the sights (although I couldn't resist another trip to the Blue Mosque - simply stellar) and we would meet up with Omer in the evenings for dinner...and invariably meet another member of his lovely family or his large group of friends!!!
But then it hit me on Friday when I was preparing to ship stuff home...MC would be leaving the following morning...this was the last night together as fellow world travellers. A bit dramatic I know but I couldn't help myself and the tears flowed. I managed to deal by calling my father who helped me re-focus (honestly and admittedly I have a had a bit too much time on my hands....which can drive me a little nutty) and heading to the Grand Bazaar where I happened upon a very understanding carpet shop owner (and no I didn't buy anything) and our conversation helped me feel a bit better about the situation. It was overall a pretty mellow evening and I have to admit that sitting over dinner I had a hard time choking down the food. This was it! No more looking for hotels, worrying about transportation schedules, figuring out what we want to eat, do, see....all assessed by what I had come to call our collective brain. Sure there were difficulties but I couldn't have done this trip this easily without him - and I thank him for putting up with my craziness from time to time (he knows what I am talking about...especially the incident in Diu). We could talk about the most mundane things...it was actually quite amusing...and we proved that we could watch countless hours of CNN when there was nothing else on and we just needed to tune out! And so we did a bit of that before turning in...knowing that at 5am the alarm would ring and we would both be up...as he prepared to venture off. And when that time came I think I was too tired to really process because he left and I fell back asleep...only to wake up with a pit in my stomach with the knowledge that he was really gone and this was really it. What could have been a most sad day though actually turned out to be very empowering and the time alone will hopefully help me focus and "reset" so that I can start fresh upon my return home. Take the lessons that I've learned...and accept the person that I am...and stay honest and true to myself, friends and family when I return home.
I decided to start writing feverishly in my diary...all the thoughts, feelings and learnings all need to be processed and I need to start now. I read a little in the morning and enjoyed a sheesha while I waited for Omer to pick me up. I was moving over to his apartment overlooking the Bosphorus. We chilled for a bit before it was time for me to head to Ciragan Palace/ Kempinski hotel where I had made an appointment for the ultimate indulgence - a spectacular hamman (turkish bath) and massage. It costs a pretty penny but what a way to make a new beginning. I felt totally relaxed (although despite the extended holiday I still have significant knots in my back which the masseuse tried to knead out). I walked up to Otakoy...a quaint section of Istanbul...walked around and watched people before heading back. Omer had gone to a football game and I was waiting for him to go to a birthday party. He was running late but I didn't mind...a dozen TV channels and a stunning view of the Bosphorus at night and I was set. We eventually rolled out around 11pm to meet up with his friends who are all absolutely delightful. It is how I want things to be back home...with such close and inviting people. The party lasted until about 4am at which point we headed up to Taksim Sq. for the local tradition...I think it's called a Tava burger. Delicious. So delicious I even ate two. This turning out to be the end to a perfectly great day - proof that there is life after an around the world tour! We headed back to the apartment and can you believe it? I feel asleep listening to the first prayer calls of the morning...it was simply magical!
The rest of the time has proven to be equally relaxing and Omer is a great listener and counsellor if you could say that. I am of course worried about what the future holds personally and professionally and we talked about that. We assessed what I had control over...and that is my personal life. I do need to take more control of that on so many fronts. And for that I am so greatful. Some of the stuff was hard to hear...but I thank him and hope that these lessons will stick!!!
More later...you honestly don't need to be so involved in my thoughts. But there are many and they are overwhelming and need to be sorted out. At least I got something down on the blog. I am off to London/ Brighton tomorrow morning (via Budapest...keep your fingers crossed that I can make the connections in time!). I am looking forward to staying with a womam, Karen, who I met at the ashram in India (it wasn't all that bad).
posted by Deanna Natzke Simon @ 8/29/2005 10:00:00 AM
